THOUGHTS ON ‘TO THE BONE’

I think it goes without saying that any TV show or film based around a mental health problem will be in some way controversial. There will never be one that everyone is 100% happy with. This is of course understandable considering mental health is a very sensitive and personal subject for the majority of the population.

When I first heard about ‘To The Bone’ it was only natural that I be curious and want to watch it myself. As someone who is now in a good place mentally and mostly recovered from anorexia I am always intrigued by any form of media that portrays the disorder. I’m a full supporter of anything that can help raise more awareness of eating disorders and anything that can help remove the stigma that is still seen today.

For me, ‘To The Bone’ was a mixed bag. There were a few things that they got right and a fair amount that maybe weren’t so right.

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DO I HAVE A FEAR OF HUNGER?

It might sound ridiculous but I think I have a fear of hunger. Go back three years ago and it was a fear of food itself. I like to think of this as the perfect example as to how eating problems can linger for years and how once you overcome one obstacle, another arises. Well, to this obstacle i’m saying enough is enough. I want to be able to eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m satisfied and comfortably full. I want to not have to bring a stash of snacks with me wherever I go and not plan the days events around my meals. I’m hoping this post will not only potentially help others recognise their own fear of feeling hungry, but will also encourage me to get my butt in gear and give this intuitive eating malarkey a go for real.

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THE REALITY OF MENTAL ILLNESS

Mental illness. A taboo subject but something that effects most, if not the whole, of the population. I’ve been very open with my struggles with eating and yes, 9 times out of 10 I try to be positive and give my best advice to those who are struggling with similar issues. What I rarely touch on are the struggles that I continue to face on a daily basis. Every so often I’ll address an issue I’ve been trying to tackle but I want to emphasise just what living with a mental illness is like and put some reassurance in some of you that may feel as if you’re the only one ‘not getting better.’

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A POEM

A few weeks ago in my Journalism & Creative Writing class we were told that we had to write poetry. Now, I hadn’t written a poem since I was in primary school so this was a frightening prospect, especially since it’s a workshop class so I would be reading it out to a few of my classmates in order for them to give feedback. Surprisingly I enjoyed the poetry classes more than I thought I would.

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A YEAR ON

This morning I opened up the Timehop app prepared to read whatever embarrassing things I was saying 5 years ago but instead was greeted with a pleasant surprise. This time last year I reached the healthy weight range for the first time in about two years. Yes, I still wasn’t 100% healthy but it was still an important part of my recovery process.

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A RECOVERY PLAYLIST

I love music. It’s one of the few things that has remained a constant in my life through both the good times and the bad. There is nothing I love more than finding a song that either has a super catchy beat or is made up of lyrics that I can 100% relate to. It’s natural for us to lean towards songs that we can connect with and in recovery, music can provide us both with motivation and as an outlet to help express our feelings.

I’ve decided to share my own ‘recovery playlist’ in hope that I can make any of you who are currently struggling’s lives that bit better.

‘PARALYZED’ – AGAINST THE CURRENT

This is one of those songs that can instantly lift my spirits and give me that extra push of motivation when I’m feeling down and defeated. The lyrics are fairly self explanatory and you can relate it to many situations whether it be mental illness or if you’re just feeling a bit lost. The lyric that has always stood out to me the most is “Who is this monster wearing my skin?” When you’re in the grasp of any mental illness it feels like a completely different person has taken over you. This song is a reminder that you can kick ass and overcome your struggles.

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GETTING BACK YOUR PERIOD

If you’ve struggled with a restrictive eating disorder then you may have experienced something that’s known as an amenorrhea – the loss of your period. As much as this may seem appealing – no period pains is definitely welcome – it’s not a good thing. No period means your body is physically not healthy and can also damage your chances of having children, so the sooner you’re able to get it back the better.

Since my period has thankfully recently returned, I thought I’d share my experience and also some tips on how to get your menstrual cycle going again.

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RECOVERY TALK

This week I uploaded a video talking about eating disorder recovery and opened up about my thoughts and experience. So, today’s blog post will tie in with that as I know that not everyone watches my videos and I want to try and help as many people as possible.

The main point that I want to raise is that recovery from an eating disorder, or just recovery from anything, isn’t a straight road. There are going to be multiple bumps and obstacles to swerve along the way. I’m going to share a bit of advice that I have learned through my own experience.

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BREAKING THE HABITS

If you followed my old blog or watch my YouTube videos, you may know that I have struggled with eating problems. I am currently in a place where I am a healthy weight and my body is almost fully physically recovered. However, over the past month or so it has came to my attention that there is still a fair amount to work to do in terms of my mental recovery and there is only one way to break through the barrier that is stopping my from making a full recovery: breaking the habits.

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